Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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