just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize