Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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