If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
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I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
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btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize