is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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