So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
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