I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize