the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
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What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
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Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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