i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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