your room smells of hookers.
And success
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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