dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize