After last night, I could never be a politician.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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