There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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