dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize