we have officially lost it.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
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I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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