with your own penis?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize