a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
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Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
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Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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