note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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