69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
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I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
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So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
send nudes
from the living room?
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