The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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