my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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