: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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