Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
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her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
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Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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