Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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