Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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