If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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