After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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