I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize