haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize