fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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