No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
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explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
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Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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