I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
40s are totally the cure
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
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