More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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