Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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