my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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