Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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