If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize