I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize