I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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