Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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