Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
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I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
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Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize