You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize