The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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