Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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