i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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