If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
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I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
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