Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
cat food counts as protein by the way
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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