During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
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