i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I don't think brook has ever known best
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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