My Higher Power is John Stamos
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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