Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize